The Grind

So this weekend I have 3 first dates with another date on Tuesday.

I have already had 2 and both were, well, less than to be desired. They were ok, but no great. The one was nice - no spark - a lack of attraction. But the guy was decent and we had a flow of conversation. It was just ok. I will definitely give him a second date, but I am not sure how much more to give. At this point, I just really don't see anything coming of it.

The second date - tonight - was also just ok. Conversation was much better. Connection was much better. But I am pretty sure the guy is gay and doesn't know it. Then there was the money thing.

So, if you were to go out with a guy that you already knew was struggling with the current economy. Had been unemployed for a while. Has admitted to having budget troubles even now and did not want to take you out until he was paid again because he didn't have the funds. But then a week after his next pay check agreed to go out (making you think that he knew he had the funds), and when the bartender asks whether to put your drinks on his tab, he says yes, how would you feel when TWO of his credit cards do not work to pay a $43 tab?

I felt bad for him definitely. Absolutely. But now, I am also kind of pissed off. I budgeted $20 for tonight. It was $10 cover (which I made sure to pay for on my own by asking him to meet me inside) and I ordered an $8 drink. Had I made him let me pay for my drink, I would have stayed within budget. But I ordered 2 drinks and he 3. He did give me $1o to pay for tip. But I paid $33 outside of the budget I set, that I cannot afford at Christmas time!

So do I just ignore all requests for a second date? It will be obvious that I am only do it because he is having financial issues. I would totally have given him a second date - gay vibe and all. That wasn't strong enough to combat the connection. But gay and can't admit he's broke? I really don't know what to do. I told him not to let his embarrassment stop him from emailing me, but I think if it does, I just won't reach out to him. If he does email me, then I will have to make a choice.

UGH!

It would be far better if the dates were both really really shitty!!

I really hope Tuesday's date goes well. Tomorrow I am not so worried about - he is from Indiana - about a 45 minute drive. So I am giving it a chance, but also not sold on the possibility of a guy outside of the city.