I haven't yet mentioned apartment boy, have I? I met the perfect guy - on paper. 41. Great job. No idea if his finances are good, but they should be based on what he does. Dorky. Cute. Very very cute. AND HE LIVES IN MY APARTMENT COMPLEX! I have been complaining lately that I am way too busy to date. And here I meet a guy IN MY BUILDING. I was very excited. He is really really sweet. The only issue. He does not know how to date. We have known each other since October and we have seen each other 4 times. 3 of those were last minute at my apartment. He will text me at like 8:30 or 9 and ask if I am home. This does not work well because I do not want him to see me when I am in pj's and probably not looking hot at all.
Now, of course, you want to all shout at me. HE ONLY WANTS BOOTIE CALLS. But here is the catch. We have not had sex. Not once. I called him on the whole last minute, bootie call thing and he got sad. He wouldn't even make out with me much that night and when I pushed him on that, he finally admitted that it was because he doesn't want me to think he is only coming over for bootie calls.
So, we never talk on the phone. We do not text very often. He cannot be interested. And yet, he keeps asking to come over and hang out with me. I don't get it.
In the meantime, I just gave my phone number to some 22 year old that I picked up (and brought home?!?!?! wtf?!) on New Year's Eve. He asked "the real question is - will I ever see you again?" I said, "ummmm...well. I would go dancing with you." He likes to ballroom dance. Ah this single life.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Thursday, November 3, 2011
My Friend Flo
I have never been so happy to get my period, ladies!!! Phew! A few weeks ago (12 days and 15 hours ago to be precise) at an innocuous gal pal evening, I began flirting with a harmless gentleman. Well, his name was Vinnie and he was wearing a gold chain, but really - harmless. I usually do not use names, but this truth was too good to pass up. I will admit to being excessively horny that night. It had been quite a while since my last "kiss" with a man. And Vinnie was not unattractive, he was attentive and he played his cards right.
As gal pal was breaking up, 3 of the girls agreed to continue the night with us, while none of V's male friends agreed. So this Jersey Shore classic heads out with four girls to a place that did not have cheap drinks. At one point we decide to leave. He pays the entire check without telling anyone and we say goodbye to the girls. At which point, they discovered all their drinks had been payed for.
Well the rest of the night was a combination of stupidity, hilarity and down right messy fun. I'll skip the gory detials. Vinnie drove me and my bike home in the morning (after making us some tea for the road). Apologized for his part in us not being smart enough to jacket his goods (we were careful in other ways, yeah right! Really, "pulling out" is NOT a birth control method!@%*!). Home I go to google my menstral cycle and lo and behold, I was at my most fertile point that very night!
So, now I have had my first experience buying and taking the morning after pill. I also met a guy who actually has potential a week ago today while I was worrying about being preggers. It has been a very weird time for me.
Other tidbits: sort of got kicked out of choir.
Flying to Dubai tomorrow for work.
Presenting our group project tonight in class.
Submitting my final paper for class today (even though it is due next week - because I will be in Dubai)
Will potentially come back from Dubai to a newborn nephew.
Will come back to one or both parents here in town.
And have no idea how to study for my final which comes 5 days after I return and right when we might be having a nephew/grandson in the family.
Are we there yet? I am probably going to be thoroughly bored come December when I have NOTHING to do. :)
As gal pal was breaking up, 3 of the girls agreed to continue the night with us, while none of V's male friends agreed. So this Jersey Shore classic heads out with four girls to a place that did not have cheap drinks. At one point we decide to leave. He pays the entire check without telling anyone and we say goodbye to the girls. At which point, they discovered all their drinks had been payed for.
Well the rest of the night was a combination of stupidity, hilarity and down right messy fun. I'll skip the gory detials. Vinnie drove me and my bike home in the morning (after making us some tea for the road). Apologized for his part in us not being smart enough to jacket his goods (we were careful in other ways, yeah right! Really, "pulling out" is NOT a birth control method!@%*!). Home I go to google my menstral cycle and lo and behold, I was at my most fertile point that very night!
So, now I have had my first experience buying and taking the morning after pill. I also met a guy who actually has potential a week ago today while I was worrying about being preggers. It has been a very weird time for me.
Other tidbits: sort of got kicked out of choir.
Flying to Dubai tomorrow for work.
Presenting our group project tonight in class.
Submitting my final paper for class today (even though it is due next week - because I will be in Dubai)
Will potentially come back from Dubai to a newborn nephew.
Will come back to one or both parents here in town.
And have no idea how to study for my final which comes 5 days after I return and right when we might be having a nephew/grandson in the family.
Are we there yet? I am probably going to be thoroughly bored come December when I have NOTHING to do. :)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
A myth or a challenge?
In trying to define whether I am avoiding dates because of fear or whether I am just annoyed with the crap that goes along with internet dating, I came to this idea:
If being in a relationship is all about sharing your life (for me I tend to want to share everything with the person that I am dating), then it is bullshit when they tell you to love yourself first, fulfill yourself first and the right person will come along. Why? Because when I am doing what I want to do in life; when I am feeling fulfilled and happy by myself and for myself, I am not in a place where there is room for a partner. Maybe it's true that in that place is where you attract people because you are so happy, but then either you struggle to make room for that person and that struggle messes with the relationship OR you enjoy that person so much that you don't notice that you are no longer doing the things that fulfill you until your life becomes all about them. With some relationships, people are lucky and they find fulfillment WITH each other while still having time for themselves. But that is a balance that is hard to achieve in the early stages (0 months - 2 years) of the relationship.
This all came from me not wanting to go on a second date with DancerBoy. I told a friend that I thought it was because of fear. But when she pressed me to define the fear all I could think of was how frustrating it is to communicate in those early stages. How many times I have thought - why isn't he writing back or calling? How I wonder if I've shared too much. That is not really fear just frustration. I think where the fear comes in is when I think about wasting MY time and My thoughts and worries on men that are not worth it. Men that are never going to get to that perfect sharing balance with me. I don't want to spend days upon days dating frogs to find a prince. I would rather become queen all on my own merits.
Blog worthy post? Not sure.
If being in a relationship is all about sharing your life (for me I tend to want to share everything with the person that I am dating), then it is bullshit when they tell you to love yourself first, fulfill yourself first and the right person will come along. Why? Because when I am doing what I want to do in life; when I am feeling fulfilled and happy by myself and for myself, I am not in a place where there is room for a partner. Maybe it's true that in that place is where you attract people because you are so happy, but then either you struggle to make room for that person and that struggle messes with the relationship OR you enjoy that person so much that you don't notice that you are no longer doing the things that fulfill you until your life becomes all about them. With some relationships, people are lucky and they find fulfillment WITH each other while still having time for themselves. But that is a balance that is hard to achieve in the early stages (0 months - 2 years) of the relationship.
This all came from me not wanting to go on a second date with DancerBoy. I told a friend that I thought it was because of fear. But when she pressed me to define the fear all I could think of was how frustrating it is to communicate in those early stages. How many times I have thought - why isn't he writing back or calling? How I wonder if I've shared too much. That is not really fear just frustration. I think where the fear comes in is when I think about wasting MY time and My thoughts and worries on men that are not worth it. Men that are never going to get to that perfect sharing balance with me. I don't want to spend days upon days dating frogs to find a prince. I would rather become queen all on my own merits.
Blog worthy post? Not sure.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
New boys Part Two
OOPS! I totally forgot to write part 2!! That is because part two was so nonthrilling that I apparently did not even want to waste my precious time on it. And you want to know a funny thing. If he called or texted - I would go out with him again.
So tall guy - not particularly heart throb material, but nothing to throw back after the catch either. We went to Ghiardelli - what a stupid idea for me! I was picking the place to meet for tea. But I was pretty sure that the italian place in the Hancock closes at 3:00 ish. What I really wanted was their mexican hot cocoa. The original idea was get tea and walk the beach/trail. So we go to Ghiardelli and I am a good girl because it was two days before my weight watchers meeting (which while going really slow - is also going really great!! I cannot wait to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe once I hit goal!), so I just get tea. And he gets a strawberry shake. Which means that we have to sit in the store/restaurant area to eat it because it is so darn hot out, it would melt in an instant. There I am sitting around all these hot fudge sundaes... :) But I digress.
So, the conversation was ok. Interesting, but also a bit slow. Or rather - in Ghiardelli, it was pretty good conversation. Nothing thrilling, but good. But was we got walking it got a bit harder.
Frankly - it was a pretty boring date. The funny thing: I left the date thinking boring could be good. How backwards have I gotten? But I am also serious about that. Everytime that it is exciting, a rush, a deep connection - that fades fast. Either the guy was just working really hard to rope you in and then backs off when he catches you. Or he wraps you around his finger only to pull out his immense psychosis after you think he could be the one. Or the least annoying - you just run out of similarities and realize that his daily life is so vastly different and while he wants to share it with you, you really do not want any part (like shopping at Costco or Bestbuy everyday to while away the time).
So boring, but with like ideas - not so shabby. It's steady. Sometimes interesting. Who knows - could be amazing in bed - it's a struggle to get that far to find out.
It is neither here nor there because I haven't heard boo from him since last Tuesday. I could have possibly not sent the right signals - I said the fated "So... call me". BUT I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY IT! And when I say it, there is no way I am going to call you. I am putting the ball in your court by doing that because I cannot tell whether you are interested AT ALL.
So that was two. I will try to post a bit later or tomorrow. I have come to some interesting ponderings about dating and the space I am in right now.
So tall guy - not particularly heart throb material, but nothing to throw back after the catch either. We went to Ghiardelli - what a stupid idea for me! I was picking the place to meet for tea. But I was pretty sure that the italian place in the Hancock closes at 3:00 ish. What I really wanted was their mexican hot cocoa. The original idea was get tea and walk the beach/trail. So we go to Ghiardelli and I am a good girl because it was two days before my weight watchers meeting (which while going really slow - is also going really great!! I cannot wait to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe once I hit goal!), so I just get tea. And he gets a strawberry shake. Which means that we have to sit in the store/restaurant area to eat it because it is so darn hot out, it would melt in an instant. There I am sitting around all these hot fudge sundaes... :) But I digress.
So, the conversation was ok. Interesting, but also a bit slow. Or rather - in Ghiardelli, it was pretty good conversation. Nothing thrilling, but good. But was we got walking it got a bit harder.
Frankly - it was a pretty boring date. The funny thing: I left the date thinking boring could be good. How backwards have I gotten? But I am also serious about that. Everytime that it is exciting, a rush, a deep connection - that fades fast. Either the guy was just working really hard to rope you in and then backs off when he catches you. Or he wraps you around his finger only to pull out his immense psychosis after you think he could be the one. Or the least annoying - you just run out of similarities and realize that his daily life is so vastly different and while he wants to share it with you, you really do not want any part (like shopping at Costco or Bestbuy everyday to while away the time).
So boring, but with like ideas - not so shabby. It's steady. Sometimes interesting. Who knows - could be amazing in bed - it's a struggle to get that far to find out.
It is neither here nor there because I haven't heard boo from him since last Tuesday. I could have possibly not sent the right signals - I said the fated "So... call me". BUT I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY IT! And when I say it, there is no way I am going to call you. I am putting the ball in your court by doing that because I cannot tell whether you are interested AT ALL.
So that was two. I will try to post a bit later or tomorrow. I have come to some interesting ponderings about dating and the space I am in right now.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Two new boys - Part one (Take two)
(Let's try this again!)
Well, on my self-imposed break I was still flirting with OKCupid and still thinking about going back on eHarmony because they gave me the $9 a month deal for 3 months again. Flirting meaning 1 or 2 visits a week. In that time, correspondance with 3 guys started progressing. One started his first email with “we should meet” and I basically said “sure, when?” and have heard nothing since. So, let’s forget about him and talk about DancerBoy!
DancerBoy and I had communicated on OKC before but then he took a break and shut down both this profiles. He is now back. In his first long, cute email, he ended with “when do I get to give you a dance lesson?” He used to be a social dance teacher. So, I pretty much said “anytime” and ended up with an invite sent at 8pm Friday night for going out Saturday night. Now, we know I am not spontaneous and like my plans. I did not have plans for Saturday, but did want to be available for a friend just in case. Also, I was extremely motivated on what was a very odd Saturday.
I had been woken up at 3am by my cat. While trying to fall back asleep, my brain started drafting a personal statement I have to write for a Masters application. After about 15 minutes of drafting and redrafting, I just got up and started typing. By 9 am, I had written the statement, gone to the beach to watch the sunrise and journal and taken in a yoga class. That was when I got the invite for that night! I ended up looking so flaky by the end of the day. I told him about the morning and that I had potential unconfirmed plans. I said I would check in later and see if he was still available. So around 4 pm, we started discussing whether we would actually meet. I waffled back and forth so much! “I don’t know if I am too tired to go dancing – but it sounds like so much fun.” “I really want to keep getting stuff done, so let me see how much I can get done before I would have to leave” (5:30) “I would have to start getting ready now, but I do want to meet you.” Finally I said “let’s just do it!”
But then, he found out the band did not start until 10:30, so I said “nevermind, I won’t last until then, but how about tea instead.” (This will be a long post)
It was a GREAT date!!! Conversation was stimulating, sparks, tons of laughter! He is smart, witty, dorky, a dancer!, takes life my the horns, did I say smart? He is getting a second law degree because he could not find a job after getting his first one. And therefore, he is very very poor! He has also applied to 600 job openings in the tiny niche that he wants. I admire him for going after what he wants, but I do not admire not finding another job and just wracking up debt and using government funding because it was easier to stay in school than do something not quite right. My other doubt is that he is so married to this niche, that he will move anywhere.
Then let’s handle the money. Yes, I am THAT GIRL. No. I do not want a sugar daddy nor do I need that man to be the man. However, I do want relative equality in our pay rates or would prefer the man make more. That is my ideal – I am not saying that it’s my way or the highway. But, take that mentality out of it and it is just simply hard to date someone who has NO MONEY!
Also – a bad thing that has relevance later. He was trying to explain that you do not need dance lessons that teach the “basic” step to be able to dance. If you have a good leader, he will put your feet where he wants them. To illustrate this, he made me get up and dance with him IN THE CAFÉ. Does this show verve? Yes. Do I like the sprite in him? Yes. Was I very uncomfortable – YES. Because for me, going to a café means peace, quiet and a place I can lose myself. I felt we were being discourteous. It was not a stage, not a club, not a dancefloor, not even a bar with a band playing. All of those would have been more appropriate.
The really good moment that becomes relevant later was the goodnight kiss! When we got outside my bus came way too fast and we had an adorable, silly, romantic moment where he said “are you really getting on this bus?” and I said “yes” and we barely started going in for the hug/kiss/whatever, when he just led me into a really good first kiss. Not deep, not long. But I did almost miss my bus. Ladies – want to avoid the awkward goodnite kiss? Date a dancer! He led me into it as easy as leading me into a spin!!! I was thinking about it the rest of the night.
Then after a few “had a good time” messages, he sent something that I didn’t take very well. He sent a cute link that pertained to something in our conversation and then said “why don’t we have our dance lesson at my apartment or yours so you won’t be embarrassed”. I met the guy ONLINE and have only spent THREE hours with him?!?!
At first, even though shocking, I thought it was cute and wanted to come up with a cute response back but be honest and say that I would need at least two more dates before that happened, but then I kept thinking about it and all of my jaded dating baggage ran me through the various emotional responses to that – frustration, fear, anger, flattery. I never responded because I couldn’t come up with a kind response – once I got to the “how could he not know that was inappropriate at this stage” place in my head.
He wrote “was the link not cute?” And I wrote “No! Love the link, but I could only think of 4 reasons you would make the apartment suggestion and none of them had to do with my embarrassment.” I did not elaborate to him but I will to you.
Four reasons
1. Just wants another thumbnail on his Flickr page (ie. hookup). He is an amateur photographer and his flickr is full of head shots, candid shots, and glamour shots of ALL WOMEN and A LOT OF THEM!
2. He like me but was just thinking with his D$!@
3. He is a psycho killer
4. It’s really his embarrassment. I paid for tea (he did go to pay for it) and he knows he should take me out but cannot afford it.
So, his response was “Four? I can only think of two. 1. Was to alleviate embarrassment 2. To get you alone.” And more cute, nice stuff. I didn’t have time to write back because I had ANOTHER date and a dinner with a friend (meeting her boyfriend for the first time) in the same night. So I texted today “Was too busy last night to respond. I totally understand the getting alone part. That kiss definitely left me wanting more. Will write more tonight.”
I am not even sure I want to waste my time, because lately I have been really loving being single. Loving my time, my space, the fact that when my apartment is disgusting it doesn’t matter and when I clean it, I am not cleaning up someone else’s disaster. Doing what I want to do when. But maybe this path will lead me to loving my time even more.
Well, on my self-imposed break I was still flirting with OKCupid and still thinking about going back on eHarmony because they gave me the $9 a month deal for 3 months again. Flirting meaning 1 or 2 visits a week. In that time, correspondance with 3 guys started progressing. One started his first email with “we should meet” and I basically said “sure, when?” and have heard nothing since. So, let’s forget about him and talk about DancerBoy!
DancerBoy and I had communicated on OKC before but then he took a break and shut down both this profiles. He is now back. In his first long, cute email, he ended with “when do I get to give you a dance lesson?” He used to be a social dance teacher. So, I pretty much said “anytime” and ended up with an invite sent at 8pm Friday night for going out Saturday night. Now, we know I am not spontaneous and like my plans. I did not have plans for Saturday, but did want to be available for a friend just in case. Also, I was extremely motivated on what was a very odd Saturday.
I had been woken up at 3am by my cat. While trying to fall back asleep, my brain started drafting a personal statement I have to write for a Masters application. After about 15 minutes of drafting and redrafting, I just got up and started typing. By 9 am, I had written the statement, gone to the beach to watch the sunrise and journal and taken in a yoga class. That was when I got the invite for that night! I ended up looking so flaky by the end of the day. I told him about the morning and that I had potential unconfirmed plans. I said I would check in later and see if he was still available. So around 4 pm, we started discussing whether we would actually meet. I waffled back and forth so much! “I don’t know if I am too tired to go dancing – but it sounds like so much fun.” “I really want to keep getting stuff done, so let me see how much I can get done before I would have to leave” (5:30) “I would have to start getting ready now, but I do want to meet you.” Finally I said “let’s just do it!”
But then, he found out the band did not start until 10:30, so I said “nevermind, I won’t last until then, but how about tea instead.” (This will be a long post)
It was a GREAT date!!! Conversation was stimulating, sparks, tons of laughter! He is smart, witty, dorky, a dancer!, takes life my the horns, did I say smart? He is getting a second law degree because he could not find a job after getting his first one. And therefore, he is very very poor! He has also applied to 600 job openings in the tiny niche that he wants. I admire him for going after what he wants, but I do not admire not finding another job and just wracking up debt and using government funding because it was easier to stay in school than do something not quite right. My other doubt is that he is so married to this niche, that he will move anywhere.
Then let’s handle the money. Yes, I am THAT GIRL. No. I do not want a sugar daddy nor do I need that man to be the man. However, I do want relative equality in our pay rates or would prefer the man make more. That is my ideal – I am not saying that it’s my way or the highway. But, take that mentality out of it and it is just simply hard to date someone who has NO MONEY!
Also – a bad thing that has relevance later. He was trying to explain that you do not need dance lessons that teach the “basic” step to be able to dance. If you have a good leader, he will put your feet where he wants them. To illustrate this, he made me get up and dance with him IN THE CAFÉ. Does this show verve? Yes. Do I like the sprite in him? Yes. Was I very uncomfortable – YES. Because for me, going to a café means peace, quiet and a place I can lose myself. I felt we were being discourteous. It was not a stage, not a club, not a dancefloor, not even a bar with a band playing. All of those would have been more appropriate.
The really good moment that becomes relevant later was the goodnight kiss! When we got outside my bus came way too fast and we had an adorable, silly, romantic moment where he said “are you really getting on this bus?” and I said “yes” and we barely started going in for the hug/kiss/whatever, when he just led me into a really good first kiss. Not deep, not long. But I did almost miss my bus. Ladies – want to avoid the awkward goodnite kiss? Date a dancer! He led me into it as easy as leading me into a spin!!! I was thinking about it the rest of the night.
Then after a few “had a good time” messages, he sent something that I didn’t take very well. He sent a cute link that pertained to something in our conversation and then said “why don’t we have our dance lesson at my apartment or yours so you won’t be embarrassed”. I met the guy ONLINE and have only spent THREE hours with him?!?!
At first, even though shocking, I thought it was cute and wanted to come up with a cute response back but be honest and say that I would need at least two more dates before that happened, but then I kept thinking about it and all of my jaded dating baggage ran me through the various emotional responses to that – frustration, fear, anger, flattery. I never responded because I couldn’t come up with a kind response – once I got to the “how could he not know that was inappropriate at this stage” place in my head.
He wrote “was the link not cute?” And I wrote “No! Love the link, but I could only think of 4 reasons you would make the apartment suggestion and none of them had to do with my embarrassment.” I did not elaborate to him but I will to you.
Four reasons
1. Just wants another thumbnail on his Flickr page (ie. hookup). He is an amateur photographer and his flickr is full of head shots, candid shots, and glamour shots of ALL WOMEN and A LOT OF THEM!
2. He like me but was just thinking with his D$!@
3. He is a psycho killer
4. It’s really his embarrassment. I paid for tea (he did go to pay for it) and he knows he should take me out but cannot afford it.
So, his response was “Four? I can only think of two. 1. Was to alleviate embarrassment 2. To get you alone.” And more cute, nice stuff. I didn’t have time to write back because I had ANOTHER date and a dinner with a friend (meeting her boyfriend for the first time) in the same night. So I texted today “Was too busy last night to respond. I totally understand the getting alone part. That kiss definitely left me wanting more. Will write more tonight.”
I am not even sure I want to waste my time, because lately I have been really loving being single. Loving my time, my space, the fact that when my apartment is disgusting it doesn’t matter and when I clean it, I am not cleaning up someone else’s disaster. Doing what I want to do when. But maybe this path will lead me to loving my time even more.
Two New Guys - Part One
Well, on my self-imposed break I was still flirting with OKCupid and still thinking about going back on eHarmony because they gave me the $9 a month deal for 3 months again. Flirting meaning 1 or 2 visits a week. In that time, correspondance with 3 guys started progressing. One has al
OH MY GOD I HATE BLOGGER
THIS WAS THE LONGEST POST EVER AND IT MESSED UP PUBLISHING AND THIS IS ALL IT SAVED!!!!
OH MY GOD I HATE BLOGGER
THIS WAS THE LONGEST POST EVER AND IT MESSED UP PUBLISHING AND THIS IS ALL IT SAVED!!!!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Long Break
So I am on a half self-imposed break from dating. Half because I still occasionally go on okcupid and see if I have mail, respond if I do and want to, and sometimes check out my quiver. But it is really desolate out there, ladies. I took a break because I am sick of how hard it is to get something started. 1 date 2 dates 3 dates 4 - that's about how it goes. And I can't help getting a bit of a complex that most guys decide to fade away the date after we've taken things to the bedroom (whether that mean clothes come off or stay on). It's like - whoa - headed toward something that could mean actually giving of myself. No way, Jose!
I may be exaggerating a bit. But that was kind of how I felt before I decided to just stop.
After that last rough and tumble guy. I did have 2 dates with a 40-something who claimed he was not sure he wanted kids. We had a great first date. Then a really plutonic and odd second. And then nothing. Not without effort on my part. He said he had a great time and seemed to hint that he would like a third date. But when I blatently suggested one over email - there was no response. Nothing ever again. I had another date with a 45 year old. I wasn't really sure I wanted a second date. We both kind of let it fade. It's been three weeks without communication, then yesterday at 8am "Hey my art opening is tonight. Any chance you can come?" ???
I said good luck and that maybe next time with more than a few hours notice I could make it. He replied that he thought he had mentioned it to me. I had the refrain from saying - must be the new girl.
A guy who has recently written on OKC sent these:
Email 1 - "Hi"
(I write back with a book suggestion because he referenced that women could send him book suggestions)
Email 2 - "Thanks. How are you?"
(I laid into him a bit about how I cannot start a conversation on Hi. How are you? And asked if he noticed how I had obviously read his profile and responded with something that showed that)
Email 3 - Was a little better. More info. A little teasing for laying into him. And the one question "Is that better?"
(I responded with a long email with a few questions)
Email 4- He answered my questions without much for me to respond to and ended with "I think I answered all your questions."
(I sent a short response that may have been random since there wasn't anything to respond to and asked about his weekend)
If he does not ask any questions about me. I am not writing back. I am not sure I described it well enough above. But he basically is not trying. He is emailing without actually taking any interest in it and without trying to get me interested. Why do men think "hi. how are you?" is actually reaching out?
So - the break.
Thank god for plutonic groups on meetup!
I may be exaggerating a bit. But that was kind of how I felt before I decided to just stop.
After that last rough and tumble guy. I did have 2 dates with a 40-something who claimed he was not sure he wanted kids. We had a great first date. Then a really plutonic and odd second. And then nothing. Not without effort on my part. He said he had a great time and seemed to hint that he would like a third date. But when I blatently suggested one over email - there was no response. Nothing ever again. I had another date with a 45 year old. I wasn't really sure I wanted a second date. We both kind of let it fade. It's been three weeks without communication, then yesterday at 8am "Hey my art opening is tonight. Any chance you can come?" ???
I said good luck and that maybe next time with more than a few hours notice I could make it. He replied that he thought he had mentioned it to me. I had the refrain from saying - must be the new girl.
A guy who has recently written on OKC sent these:
Email 1 - "Hi"
(I write back with a book suggestion because he referenced that women could send him book suggestions)
Email 2 - "Thanks. How are you?"
(I laid into him a bit about how I cannot start a conversation on Hi. How are you? And asked if he noticed how I had obviously read his profile and responded with something that showed that)
Email 3 - Was a little better. More info. A little teasing for laying into him. And the one question "Is that better?"
(I responded with a long email with a few questions)
Email 4- He answered my questions without much for me to respond to and ended with "I think I answered all your questions."
(I sent a short response that may have been random since there wasn't anything to respond to and asked about his weekend)
If he does not ask any questions about me. I am not writing back. I am not sure I described it well enough above. But he basically is not trying. He is emailing without actually taking any interest in it and without trying to get me interested. Why do men think "hi. how are you?" is actually reaching out?
So - the break.
Thank god for plutonic groups on meetup!
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