Well - Mary has slowly degraded. It was gradual and he certainly would do things that would make me decide to overlook the crumbling of my desire for him. But the ski trip put all things over the top. I was treated half the time like a guy buddy and the other half like his ski toy, but never like a lady. There were sweet moments, don't get me wrong, but very very few. Most of it was either gross, boring or raunchy. Kgirl texted me "hope you are having a romantic weekend!" and when I said this to Mary along with my response of "it's fun! not exactly romantic", his response was "it's kind of hard to have a romantic weekend skiing." So I just gave him this "really? you think that? you are so wrong" crinkled brow, questioning loook. He blew his nose off the ski lift (I mean no kleenex - shot snot out of his nose over the edge of the chair) and spit off the ski lift on every ride up. He farted in front of me (this I could forgive because it is about that time in our dating) and he burbs all the time. We had the briefest of talks about our relationship on the drive home. I said "Awkward conversation time. I want to make sure we are still on the same page. We are still both happy with being inexclusive and just having fun, right?" "Oh yeah! Hee hee inexclusive and just having fun - that's perfect! Thanks for bringing that up." And then he essentially noogied me like I was his 12 year old little sister.
But the skiing was totally fun! Well worth it!
There is another pawn still in my game. I had a date with him Monday and unfortunately still have not learned how to handle dating other people. Everyone says - you just don't talk about it. Um.....that is not a probable solution. I am not a liar. So when asked "who are you going skiing with" after a hesitation, I knew that the answer "a friend" would be so obviously a lie that I said "well that's an awkward question". (That was Thursday before skiing) Then Monday, we are chatting and I ask something about siblings and say "didn't we just talk about the older child/younger child personality?" And he said "No...(PAUSE) No that wasn't me."
He did kiss me as strong as ever that night and said "let me know how prep goes", but did not respond to text yesterday. YES I KNOW - it's only been since Monday. This is my problem. I want a guy who wants to tell me everything and share everything with me, but is not clingy and annoying. And who I will not be clingy to. It's a really tough balance to find and I think it is different for every couple.
I have a huge work thing coming up that should be fun and full of meeting people. And then it may be back to OKCupid now that eHarmony is expired and I am not ready for that commitment again right now. I have to say that these past 4 months have put me back in the "single and loving it" place. (versus the "ready for the long relationship - please find me" place) I just want my time to be MY time right now.
